Monday 17 December 2012

Calcutta Dope

Olypub

I am talking to Max about the similarity between Paris and Calcutta when he starts rolling a joint. He has carefully stashed away some for the evening. Our taxi ambles away easily when the driver sniffs the dope and looks back, I look at Max who is coolly going about his job, mixing tobacco and grass in the right proportion, stoking the joint so that it holds and licking the rolling paper finally. French (Europeans as I get to learn later) are really fond of tobacco; Max says his biggest discovery of India is…well…cheap cigarettes…

Driving through the by lanes of Calcutta at night, dead communists lying at crossroads with dead imperialists. A Mr. AJC Bose running parallel to one Mr. Elgin (howdy gentlemen, bhadralok) roads are almost deserted and not all of them lead to the Park street, but our taxi that  night does lead to that hallowed street, to the most classfree place in the entire city, where there’s a drink for all: Olypub, where the maître d' will ‘accidentally’ spill over extra booze from the jigger into your glass.

The taxi stops, Max and I enter Oly with great expectations, much lesser cash and quite a few stares. Max tells me again he’s of sick of being stared at in Calcutta, I wonder whether I will be stared at if I am in Paris, meanwhile I am looking for a seat and true to the place’s reputation there’s none, bearded communists are drinking with the same élan as a group of college going kids, they are all here to drink, a great leveler like death. A virtual toast from my side to the sincere buggers…cheers…

Max approaches the college gang for a light and is obliged by a nymph (sorry for the lack of a more polite word, but to be honest she will behave like a nymph as the night proceeds). Max is pretty cool at this, striking casual conversations at ease “ you have a light on you” or just his European good looks smile with strangers, pretty effective, the gang adjusts us at their table ( all smokers…)

We order  drinks as the kids rattle off in Bengali, I can speak broken Bengali so I try to catch words and interpret…..bhalo…khabo…etc etc….but finally give up and order for another vodka for myself. The nymph asks me if I’ve heard about Parikrama who are performing at Someplace else at the park hotel, next door. I nod in the affirmative, Parikrama: arguably the bestest  rock band in India, apparently they play Floyd better than Floyd themselves (ever since Gilmour and Waters parted ways) “So why the hell are we here” asks Max,  by this time high on a joint and down a peg, I give him a stern look since I don’t want to declare in front of a bunch of college kids that we don’t have cash on us, he smiles back the French fool. Liquor at The Park Hotel will burn holes into his pocket so deep he’ll be able to scratch his knees.
           
There is an ugly looking Bengali chick among the kids who’s staring at me. Ugly women are my forte, easier to get and easier to dump. No (belch) strings (belch followed by another belch) attached. I already know I will eventually detest her, her body, her feelings for me. In fact I detest everything about her already except her body, the lust checks my disgust, lust for the bust, keeps away the disgust (my retort to an apple a day keeps the doctor away).

In no time we are four down ( four and a quarter thanks to the deary waiter), and life is much better. Max and nymph are sharing a joint, (not so) ugly chick has placed her arm next to mine, so the intentions are clear. Gulp Gulp. Five down.

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